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發問於 社會及文化語言 · 5 年前

HKU non jupas cover letter 求指教?

Being a speech therapist, in my opinion, is a profession that gives hopes to patients’ lives. Speaking and hearing are the essential components of daily communication.

However, some people have difficulties in speaking or hearing, like “tongue-tied” or stutter which would burden down their daily lives. Although the problem would not hinder their physical health, the social health and mental health could be affected significantly because of lowered self-esteem and impaired communication ability. However, with the help of speech therapy, patients would be able to regain their normal lives.

I am interested in speech and hearing science not only because of its meaningful nature, but also my passion in teaching. I have been a private tutor for 3 years. Teaching others has never been an easy task. Most of my tutoring time was spent on sorting out the underlying reasons students find things difficult, planning the training schedule, finding exercise resources, encouragement and also evaluation. Despite the hard work, I feel so satisfied when my students achieve improvements in their work. It would also be rewarding if patients are improving throughout different stages of therapies.

更新:

Equipped with a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing from The Hong Kong Polytechnic University, I am sure my professional knowledge, including anatomy, physiology, psychology and also my clinical experience for almost 1400 hours, could benefit my future studies. The mechanism of speaking and hearing and communication with patients would be more manageable to me.

更新 2:

Besides, I was the internal vice chairperson of the residential hall students' association during my first year of university study. I have worked as a person in charge of a number of hall functions like high table dinner. These experiences enable me to demonstrate the ability to work as a team and also independently.

更新 3:

The University of Hong Kong is the only institute in Hong Kong that provides bachelor degree program in speech and hearing. Moreover, it is a well-known university in Hong Kong with over 100 years history. A bright future would definitely be guaranteed if a precious opportunity to study in this renowned university were offered.

With my future aspirations in mind, I will certainly endeavor to prove my eligibility for future studies in speech and hearing sciences.

更新 4:

Personal statement至岩 搵工搵到傻左=P

1 個解答

評分
  • Jenkin
    Lv 7
    5 年前
    最愛解答

    這篇作為cover letter或個人資歷的表述實在有點「長氣」,並且有些部份如你所寫是"your opinion" about "being a speech therapist", about the University of Hong Kong...等等的aspirations只會令看的人感覺你"大言不慚",內容中較為相關你對 speech therapy和你的Nursing中的 clinical experience如何帶動使你對深造這科目卻沒有表述,反而寫成較為以自我為中心的managable by me和organize hall functions的經驗是使你示範給人看你的能力而不是你從中如何運用技能和學識來完成責任,表達上是本沒倒置了。

    以上是真心實在地評價你的寫法和內容選材。其實可以編輯和精選最重要的細節表達你的意向(以下簡例編排,文法內容沒修正的):

    My Bachelor's Degree in Nursing from The Hong Kong Polytechnic University equipped me with professional knowledge on anatomy, physiology and psychology. Plus working with patients in clinical experience for almost 1400 hours brought me to realize my interest in speech therapy. It is because I have seen impaired communication ability affected their social health and mental health significantly because of lowered self-esteem. I wish my endeavor to future studies in speech and hearing sciences may enhance my future aspirations on teaching as well.

    For 3 years as a private tutor and internal vice chairperson of the residential hall students' association during my first year of university study, I have worked in variety of functions from one-on-one guidance to team work in organizing activities such as high table dinner with fellow students.

    I am confident that in enrolling to the bachelor degree program in speech and hearing of the University of Hong Kong is my choice of further education.

    希望這簡單的三段可以把你的精華展示給讀這信的人,記住他有大約一至兩分鐘的時間看你的一頁/半頁內容,假如你的內容有太多雜質和情節,卻缺乏主旨,每一段落不單遘些不同的內容,但也要整合讓對方可以立體地組合內容認識你的意向,否則便只會累贅多言。希望給你一點導引。

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