trees
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trees 發問於 社會及文化語言 · 6 年前

請評作文(英文)

Topic:The government has prosposed to move your school to a new sites in WestKowloon. It plans a 50-storey office and hotel complex on the present schoolsites. What are your views on this proposal? Give three reasons to support yourstance / stand. Idisagree with the proposal that the government moves our school to a new sitein West Kowloon and plans a 50-storey office and hotel complex on the presentschool sites. Let me explain more details at below. If thegovernment moves our school to a new site in West Kowloon, it is inconvenientfor students to go to school. It is because our school is located at Wan Chai. Accordingto my survey, around 90% students in our school live on Hong Kong Island. Ifour school moves to West Kowloon, they need to spend more time going to school.Although there is a comprehensive transport network in Hong Kong, for instance,tunnels and bridges, Hong Kong people need to face serious traffic congestionproblem every day. Therefore, students need to leave home earlier so as toarrive at school on time. It is difficult for students to concentrate in classwhich is disadvantageous to their study. Therefore, I disagree with thisproposal. Thisproposal will also increase parents’ financial burden. It is expensive totravel from Hong Kong Island to West Kowloon. If students take MTR from HongKong Island to West Kowloon, they need to spend about 25 dollars daily. It willput weight on family expenses. Moreover, it will affect their quality of life.This is advantageous to them. Therefore, I disagree with the proposal. Besides,this proposal will take lots of time and money to build a new school. Althoughthe government will compensate money to our school, it is hard to say that themoney can cover the cost of building a new school. It is very expensive tobuild a new school because the wages of construction workers and constructionmaterials are pretty high in Hong Kong.

更新:

It is difficult for our school to afford the construction fees. Moreover, our school principal and teachers need to spend much time to consider our school’s design. As they are so busy to deal with lots of school things, such as correcting students’ homework, preparing students’ lessons and homework

更新 2:

preparing students’ lessons and homework and dealing with other school duties. It is hard for them to squeeze time to consider our school’s design. Therefore, I disagree with the proposal.

更新 3:

In conclusion, there are many reasons why the government should not go ahead with the proposal.

更新 4:

4th para:

Besides, ---> It is hard for them to squeeze time to consider our school’s design. Therefore, I disagree with the proposal.

1 個解答

評分
  • 6 年前
    最愛解答

    A comment on the compo:-

    2nd para:-bridges, (they need)----the subj. to face serious----therefore I disagree with this proposal firstly.

    3rd para:-of life, which is (not)----the negative demanded----advantageous to them-----I disagree secondly.

    4th para:-the (remaining)-----be economical,be logical,----money can cover the cost

    5th para:-to squeeze (the) time on new design?----therefore I disagree with this proposal thirdly

    6th para-----In conclusion, there are many (other) reasons (eg:-outskirt district had bad environs reasons), apart from the above three as mentioned.

    2015-05-19 08:43:50 補充:

    proposed amendment:-4-5th para:-Besides (adv)--->--->It is hard for them to squeeze(the) time to consider our school's (new) design.Therefore, I disagree with the proposal thirdly.

    2015-05-19 17:38:39 補充:

    proposed amendment:- 4th para:-Teachers managered hard to squeeze a lot of work including a new school design. I disagree with the proposal thirdly.

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