promotion image of download ymail app
Promoted
匿名
匿名 發問於 社會及文化語言 · 6 年前

Check改文2段..argumentative,,help

arguementative essay need you opinion.

topic.It is fair to uncover their private lives in the mass media?

my situation:unfair

完以下是我write introduction and第一個main point段,write感覺intro and main point怪怪地,用唐英年做例子,但唔知點解釋,所以呢段唔知點收尾,再延伸到第2個main point,可以幫我改改?

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized". [Fred Allen: Treadmill to Oblivion] Famous people could have originated from politicians, government officials, Royal personalities, movie stars, musicians, fashion designers, popular singers, successful business people and whoever with their names well-known to the public. They choose to wear dark glasses to hide part of their faces when appearing in public places. It is an active way to tell the whole world that they need space and privacy in daily lives. Celebrities deserve privacy just like we deserve ours. It is unfair to uncover their private lives in the mass media for us common citizens to know.

Admittedly, It is immoral to probe into other people's privacy even if they are famous. Nowadays, most of people obsessed with famous people that drives the paparazzi employ illegal means, such as assuming false identities to enter private places. They trespass onto private property or use some type of sophiscated surveillance equipment to disclosure the celebrities private facts or depiction in a false way. For instance, Mr. Tong ying lin who was once a candidate for the Chief Executive of Hong Kong. He gets involved in the legal dispute of modification of his residence. Then, the reporters are standing on industrial lifting machines and use long telephoto lens to capture the interior images of his house. It becomes a persistent harassment.

Ps.My second para main point is (Unethical behaviour of the newspeople sometimes lead to tragic consequences)

其實會不會同first main point撞meaning?它算一個main point?

更新:

下....唐英年例子不適合?我應該寫d咩?可以幫忙Rewrite睇下?

1 個解答

評分
  • Gary
    Lv 7
    6 年前
    最愛解答

    Make it simple - start again.

    Setting all grammatical and spelling problems aside:

    1. You said, "Celebrities deserve privacy just like we deserve ours." As a fact, this, by itself, can be a main point.

    You can explain why celebrities deserve privacy, which make it unfair to uncover.

    2. You said, "It is immoral to probe into other people's privacy even if they are famous." How? Why? You did not even explain at all. Mr. Henry Tong is an excellent example. But yet, you fail to use this to explain why it is immoral.

    2014-03-26 02:52:23 補充:

    No - Mr. Henry Tong is an excellent example. But yet, you fail to use this to explain why it is immoral.

    You did not use him very well.

    • Commenter avatar登入以回覆解答
還有問題嗎?立即提問即可得到解答。