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匿名
匿名 發問於 社會及文化語言 · 7 年前

★求改Eng作文大綱.我作一部分,有問題請指教

我作了,求改Eng作文大綱....唔該好急

topic:Is it fair to uncover the private lives of celebrities and artists in the mass media.

內容大綱好似有d problem,特別每段topic sentences,Thesis statement,求改,點改都ok,不離題便可(呢條argument我係寫unfair,得唔得?)

topic:Is it fair to uncover the private lives of celebrities and artists in the mass media.

Thesis statement: celebrities are famous and their fame find intruding on their private lives.It is unfair to uncover their private lives in the mass media for us common citizens to know.We don't need to know their events,secret rendevous communion contacts everyday.

Body

a. topic sentences(para1)

Some press seem to have an unhealthy interest in details of a tragic or unpleasant nature.

b.evidence: i.paparazzi employ illegal means,such as assuming false identities to enter private places

ii.未想到

iii.未想到

a. topic sentences(para2)

famous people are obviously genuinely upset by their loss of privacy.

b.evidence:

i.Gillian Chung was hugely embarrassed when she was secretly photographed in her underwear in her dressing room.

ii.Diana's death in a high-speed car chase is a tragic example of the dangers resulting from paparazzi behaviour

iii.未想到

a. topic sentences(para3)

未想到

b.evidence:未想到

Counterargument paragraph

i. opposite point of view:paparazzi defend what they do that they are providing what the public want to see

ii. validation of the opposite point:some celebrities have double standards on this issue and actually welcome the coverage as it keeps them in the public eye.

iii. refutation:most starts,when they are not performing as actors or singers,their private lives should be just that-private.

iv. evidence: the law protect

4.Conclusion(未想到)

a.Restate the thesis

b.Call for action

更新:

outline only.write in short poinr front ok!please.

更新 2:

point front寫就得~

更新 3:

topic:Is it fair to uncover the private lives of celebrities and artists in the mass media.?

更新 4:

可唔可以幫我加番我未想到的topic sentences(para3)同Conclusion~thx!

總之點改都ok,不離題便可

2 個解答

評分
  • 7 年前
    最愛解答

    Brifely the topic sentences:-

    Body(2)Re:-March20Thur:--Justin Bieber had bad comment to Miami Police.He was pleaded guilty to drive under the influence of wine.

    Re:-March18 Thur.Oprah Winfrey is selling Harpo Studio in Chicago to a developer.

    (b)Loss of privacy:-

    (2)Report said that he was agitated&condescending and swears to Police

    (3)Topic sentences:-

    (a)Driving in Lamborghini is no,excuse when drunk.

    (b)She failed to keep the place for families but turn into an industrial area Chicago west again !

    (4)It is unfair to uncover the private lives of celebrities and artists in the mass media.He was in a crazy state of being free from attention of the public;and no freedom of speech and no right to privacy.

    She can't be alone and not watched by other people.She can't be longing for some peace and privacy.

    They must report to Commisioner for Privacy and Equal Opportunities Commission. Because in public they supported the official policy entertainment,but privately they are sure it would fail in their Business connected with their work!

    In conclusion,do they receive from property or other sources but do not have to earn by Entertainment?Do they have a private income ?

    The End.

    2014-03-23 08:06:36 補充:

    Amendment:-It is unfair to uncover private lives of TVB celebrities&artists in mass media due to intruding on their private lives.The End.

  • 7 年前

    I suppose your paper being a thesis.

    In order to have it done beautifully, you have to have an idea what to be presented in it. Here are some suggestions

    1. Make up your mind which side do you stand. Are you in favor of or against the topic or simply neutral ? (It affects the content and rundown of the paper)

    2. Then follow the typical framework of a paper with some supplementary information inserted in between.

    - Introduction (to bring up this topics with its own importance / impact / influence highlighted. That is why it is worthy of further discussion or elaboration.

    - Your standing point can come at first (particularly if your view point is so strong on either side).

    - Bring up the trouble / problems/ impacts /influences raised out of the problematic issue.

    - Lastly, generalize what have been mentioned especially the points brought up previously

    - The paper ends with the conclusion which can again echo your standing points and its supporting arguments.

    I hope the framework suggested is helpful to you.

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