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匿名
匿名 發問於 社會及文化語言 · 9 年前

求求你, 幫手check 英文未grammar有冇錯. 超急

依篇文章係講關於 Introduction of Group Buying... 幫幫手check下grammar或者語句有冇錯... THANK YOU... Have you thought about aconvenient and economical shopping trip? Group Buy perhaps can help you. Nowadays, online shopping becomes more and more common. Lots of people choosetheir products on the internet, because the internet shopping can save time. From anytime to anywhere, group buy is popular in our life.

Different people have differentideas about group buy. Some think it is bringing many advantages but othersthink that it causes numerous risks. Group Buy means people who want to buy thesame product would gather together and buy from a seller in order to get abigger discount.

Hong Kong builds up manygroup buy websites now like Groupon, BeeCrazy what is the stylish in now day.

Supporters enjoy group buyingbecause they will never buy alone. They can search and place orders any time throughinternet quickly and easily. The main factor is a cheaper price. They do notmind the risks because they trust and enjoy the e-business processing.

However, opponents thinkthat group buying has risks, such as quality. They unique not receive theproducts when they have made payment already. That is why opponent says thatgroup buying can be a fraud. We want to analyze how it affects our life.

3 個解答

評分
  • Jenkin
    Lv 7
    9 年前
    最愛解答

    從你分段和可看出你作文組織上已經有點掌握,但仍有些要留意。我會把para 3 (gruop buy的網站介紹)作為全文總結。因為你的段落內容分別是para1介紹網上購物的基本因素,para2對團的介紹和不同見解,para4支持者理據,para5反對者意見,所以最後結束應該運用para3作為提供一些團購(網站)例子作為給讀者自行去參考。這樣的文章organization會好很多。

    至於文法,句子的組成問題不多,但有很多用英文用詞的不對/不妥:

    From anytime to anywhere, group buy is popular in our life.

    無法想像就算中文是甚麼意思。無遠弗屆?=Quickly penetrating.

    That is why opponent says that group buying can be a fraud.

    Different people have different ideas about group buy.

    英文用兩個different是不好寫法-different本身已代表不同的主角

    People have different ideas about group buy.已經足夠表達。

    Some think it is bringing many advantages but others think that it causes numerous risks.

    句子的verb要consistent及平行/對稱.

    Some think it brings many advantages while others think it causes numerious risks.

    Group Buy means people who want to buy the same product would gather together and buy from a seller in order to get a bigger discount.

    這句是開場白介紹group buy的定義,該改在para2的第一句寫。才接下去說人們對實際的group buy有不同意見。

    The main factor is a cheaper price.

    用中文講=主要因素是...看似很合理,但英文要求subject和verb和object的關係都要合邏輯的。這句的object(你給的理由)是cheaper price,所以是一種人們獲取利益的相對/對比/比較的因素或選擇團購的「理由」,而不是團購本身存在原素。因此改寫為

    The main reason for group buying is a cheaper price.

    或複雜一點的寫法

    The main factor for people to consider in group buying is to compare for a cheaper price, even among group buy websites.

    Para5: opponents=對手,這是用錯字。意見的雙方(或反方)不是像比賽的對手,英文可用oppositions(名詞)=反對的人士/陣形。

    They unique not receive the products when

    這句中unique不知你在說甚麼。你是否想說偶爾/偶然/個別事件...錯用了字(unique=獨特/唯一),可能用sometimes才是你的意思。

    That is why opponent says that group buying can be a fraud.

    你在當下討論,上文剛說了的問題可以就用This is ...

    We want to analyze how it affects our life.

    這句本身表示我們希望分析團購對我們生活的影響,如果放在反方這段意思是一種訓示或警告,那麼用want則不能表達那種重要/警示性。可以考慮改用We need to analyze how it affects our lives. [注意:our life是眾人的同一生活/生命,邏輯上不合理。文法一般會教our之後是眾數的lives/noun,但當你說的是共同體時是可以our school(大家的同一學校),但這裏寫的是團購對各人在生活上的不同影響,不可能一個共同的生活,所以必然是our lives.]

  • 9 年前

    Do you want to enjoy a convenient and economical shopping trip? Perhaps Group Buying can help you. Nowadays, online shopping becomes more and more common. Lots of people purchase goods on the internet, because it can save time. From anytime to anywhere, group buying is popular in our life.Different people have different points of view about group buying. Some think it brings many advantages but others think that there are numerous risks. Group Buying means gathering a group of consumers to buy a great number of one product, in order to pat with a larger discount.Many group buying websites have been established in Hong Kong, namely Groupon, BeeCrazy,etc.Supporters enjoy group buying because they will never buy things alone. They can search and place orders at any time through the Internet quickly and easily. The main factor is that goods are sold at a cheaper price. They do not think it is risky as they trust and enjoy the e-business processing.

    However, opponents think that group buying has risks, such as questionable quality. They do not or rarely receive the products at once after making the payment . That is why opponents say that group buying can be a fraud. We want to find out how it affects our life.

    2012-04-09 23:29:47 補充:

    幫你改左D野,不過有D唔知會唔會改錯左個意思,

    你睇睇啦,

    希望幫到你

    資料來源: me
  • 9 年前

    Apart from adverbial clauses that are subordinate (dependent) clauses which perform the same function of adverbs, not much errors.

    Para 3---What stylish (adj) means nowadays.

    Para 5 ---and esp not receiving the products (adv cl. of result)

    --------------when they have made payment (already) (adv cl.condition)

    資料來源: eng.gm.bk.
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