In love with my best friend...
I've known this girl for about 12 years. I met her through some friends in a group and back then we all hung out a lot together. she had a boyfriend back then, and i had a girlfriend as well. Basically we were just normal friends, we saw eachother when we went to parties or group gatherings. after she broke up with her bf and i broke up with my gf, we started hanging out together. it turned out we are 2 very similar people, we have the same tastes, similar personalities and enjoy each other's company. It got to a point that we could just sit and not talk and be comfortable with the silence for a long time. that was when i realized i have fallen in love with her, this was 2004.
i never told her how i felt because i didn't want to ruin our friendship. it was a real difficult choice. we remained close friends for about a year, then she started dating another guy. it was quite difficult for me to see her with another guy.
but i held in my emotions anyway, because she was happy, and all i want for her is to be happy and be treated right. We started growing apart after she got together with him, she moved back to hong kong with him after graduation. This was in 2006, to her this was a big step in her relationship.
I moved back to HK the same year as her, when i tell other people the reason i moved back was for the job market, but deep inside, i knew i moved back just because of her. I wanted to be around her, to be involved in her life, even if we're just friends.
It turned out that guy was not the one, they broke up shortly after she moved back. so now we're back to square one, we became closer again and inseparable. I got my best friend back, who i love but i never told her. then something happened, we started seeing each other as if we were a couple.
we did everything a normal couple would do. but we never labelled each other as gf or bf. it was like our little secret. In front of our friends we were just 2 real close friends, but i think (in my mind) in our minds, we were a couple in love.
The only problem was that we never told anyone about our relationship, to the outside world we were just good friends. It was really difficult to hide the fact that we were together in front of our friends. a year went by, and our relationship continued on,
then suddenly the same problems a real couple have became our problems. Just like normal relationships, problems occur. But because we werent officially a couple, we couldnt solve some of the issues we had.
It is true that the saying "sex ruins a friendship". we got into fights a lot and then we decided to end it. We decided it would be better if we just remain close friends. And we did, we acted like nothing happened and continued on with our lives.
I don't know how she felt inside, but i felt a part of my heart was broken. it was a very odd feeling, my heart was broken but at the same time I did not lose her, she was still in my life. I still love her deeply but i couldn't tell her,
because it was a decision that we both made to just be friends. Time went by, she met another guy, and I met another girl. We still hung out together as couples, staying just friends. she ended up marrying the guy,
and i never had a stable relationship after that. I believe its because i am still trying to find a girl like her to replace her. but i know that will never happen, no one can replace her. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years.
i thought she was the one that i would marry. she is not, to this day, i am still trying to find someone to replace my best friend. She is still my best friend, eventhough she's married now, we still hang out a lot, perhaps lunch once a week, or try to have dinner.
she shares her problems in her marriage and i complain to her about my failed relationships. She's always saying she is so glad I am around so she can have someone close to talk to. There are so many times that i want to tell her i still love her, but I can never say that now.
She's moved on with her life and got married. and I am still stuck behind trying to fill the empty space she left behind.
Lately i've been seeing her a lot, all the feelings are starting to come back stronger. I really want to tell her how i feel after all these years.
Should I tell her?or should I remain quiet and continue on with my empty life...
- 9 年前最愛解答
- 9 年前
送首歌比你先 >> 落花流水 (陳奕迅)
到時一個禮拜一次 lunch/dinner 都無仲大檸樂