Topic: With the wide application of computers in all aspects of life, more and more children indulge too much in computer games. Discuss the effects of computer games on children. What is your opinion about it.
Nowadays, the application of computers is becoming inevitable that it appears in all aspects of our life, however, a new problem has arisen: more and more children wallow in computer games. Personally, although there are some kids indulge too much in games, I believe its positive effects outweight the negative effects. The reasons are presented below.
First of all, it is evident that playing computer games improves different abilities of children. In the games, kids are required to use various strategies to complete the levels within a particular time. It trains their ability on solving problems individually, and also trains them to respond quickly and efficiently. These skills are indispensable in their future life.
Furthermore, letting children having access to computers can arouse their interests in computer science and internet technology, which is now the lead of our society. From the 19th century, our civilization has transitted from industrial dominant to technological dominant, therefore, kids who are interested in and good at this area will be able to have more job opportunities and chances to develope themselves.
On the other hand, it cannot be denied that computer games did having negative influence on children. Some people believe that children spend too much time on games might be distracted from their studies. In fact, to due with this concern, many game producing companies designed games which require not only your skills, but also your knowlwdge for children. It activates them to search for the answer to complete the games, and make them being eager for knowing things about the world.
To conclude, playing computer games enhance children's skills and encourages them to develop in the technology area which is leading one society.
Thank you !!!
- JenkinLv 79 年前最愛解答
1st Paragraph:the application of computers is becoming inevitable that不妥the application of computer has become inevitable that 因為論題表明是已成現象的問題，你在文法上改為現在進行式來形容inevitable並不合適。 Personally, although there are some kids indulge too much in games, I believe its positive effects outweight the negative effects.兩個錯處Personally不能這樣放的，這詞是對應你回答的adverb，所以應該Although there are some kids indulge too much in games, I personally believe its positive effects outweigh the negative effects.
2nd Paragraph:OK 3rd Paragraph:which is now the lead of our society甚麼是the lead of our society？如果想說電腦科技在帶領著社會(的前進/經濟/科技/工作…?寫英文要精準一點-不要讓平時見慣那些標題式的文章太概括便寫不出理據來。以下只把文法改正：which is now leading out society. transitted並沒有這個字，transit基本是名詞不是動詞，transit作為動詞意思是路線上經過或行過，不是指由一個狀況轉往另一個狀況。Transform會是個較好的動詞。our civilization has transformed from industrial dominant to technological dominant develope串錯字 -> develop 4th Paragraph:that computer games did have negative influence on children用錯verb-tense式did xxx = xxx的past tense; did have = had Some people believe that children spending too much time on games might be distracted from their studies. to deal with this concern many game producing companies designed games which require not only your skills, but also your knowlwdge for children.唔明你想講甚麼，你是想指出已經有遊戲公司設計出產兒童技能和知識的電腦玩意?尤其是your在一句敘述事實句中出現並不配合主詞。Many games producing companies have already designed games that require children to use their skills and knowledge. It activates them to search for the answer to complete the games, and make them being eager for knowing things about the world.這句太多錯處了不可以activate人，activate的意思猶如開關掣，可以改用motivate或stimulatebeing eager for knowing things…的preposition phrasing錯了，用know字亦不對-know是指知道，但這裏意思明顯是認識這個世界的運作式資料-留意英語用詞這好像同義的字(有時查字典也會查不準的，要多看英文書了解不同things用那動詞)They (=前句的games) stimulate them to search for answers to complete the games, and (they)(=games) make them eager to understand the world. 5th Paragraph:
which is leading one society我估你一時錯手打錯應該是our society.資料來源： Only outline the grammatical/sentence structure issues.