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中4英文作文,,請高手過目(下) (20點)

Everything waspeaceful. He (laid) on the grass with his wife. Birds, were sweeping across thesky; Waves, were pushing against the cliff; Breeze, were blowing gently, like alover whispering in one's ear. Everyone would like to stay forever. Butabruptly, everything was disappeared at the same time without prediction. Itbecame empty, hopelessness. It was impossible to explain, like a colourfulpainting became an empty canvas, like the blank emptiness he felt when his wifewas snatched from his slice. The sound of cars were disturbed his dream. Openinghis eyes, he stood up again. Then, he called 999 for telling the police that hehad killed somebody. But anyway, she was lucky that she was still survived. Now, he realised that his wife had alreadygone, probably she went to a quiet place, and do what she want. And now, he realisedthat it was already a fact, it couldn’t be changed as if he would be dead oneday. He would continue to alive and won't think of killing someone or revengefor anything because he knew that he felt unpleasant was because he used tohappy. And life was not a way to present how successful you had compared withother people. Life is a process for you to do the things you feel happy duringthe count of your dead.


PS: 這片文章有上..名叫

中4英文作文,,請高手過目(上) 40點全 (20點=1)

2 個解答

  • aShlEy
    Lv 7
    8 年前

    1,he laid..Birds were..., waves were, breeze was. disappeared消失,沒被消失.empty and hopeless,blank=空白=emppty,blank emptiness=為賦新詞強說愁was snarched from his slice=中譯英,不通,was taken away from his side(身邊)

    2disturned分清主動,被動,車聲影響他的夢,不是被影響.to tell,不要亂用for,不要survived(倖存)沒有was

    3did ..wanted..would not change would die(動詞有日會死,be dead形容詞=死了,你中文都說不會變,不是不會被改,正如我會死,不是會死了)alive副詞→live動詞, won't→wouldn't,used to be happy(形容詞,前必+動詞例:i am(be) happy)successful(形容詞,成功的)were,如前(動+形)in comparison/,comparing with to others. a process that you can do everything to make you happy before death(我不知道count of death是什麼,但別信word的grammar修正,字的分隔要清楚,標點,只有句號!)

    你的描寫不錯,但只限中文,文法只有小學6年級以下的水平...請分清主被動的意思及用法.不是每句都for+ing,to x,that都可以,按動詞使用慣例

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  • 8 年前

    your gammer didn't have wrong , is a good 文章 .

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