Tin Hang 發問於 社會及文化語言 · 1 十年前

PRoof reading 3

i,ve come here today to encouraging you all to donate blood.donors can

start,as long as they have parental consent,from the age of 16 and can given

blood twice time a year.a few years ago,the citizens of hong kong were

reluctant to donate before they had many misconceptions.but with the help of

your educate young people,the situation is now quite encouraging

of course,people are worry about various infection,but all our equipment

1:每行有一個錯

2:有解釋:會優先選為最佳回答

3若品質相若,先回答者先

更新:

is absolute sterile and safe and we do nothing that may in any way endanger

anyone,S health.once we have taken the blood,we test it for six differ

infections.so even if a donor have ant problems,the infection is not passed

on to patients who receive transfusions.we dont believe in paying blood

更新 2:

as it can have undesirable consequences,but we have some promotions make donation more than attractive.of course schools are very supportive.if people

like you dont give up blood,some of the patients will not be able to survive

so one day those patients may be people you love,so please helping us

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 十年前
    最愛解答

    1. encouraging --> encourage (to後面應該用infinitive form)

    2. given --> give (can後面用番最原本果個form)

    3. time --> 唔駛既 (twice已經包括左兩次既意思)

    4. before --> because (照句意去改)

    5. educate --> educating (其實唔係好明呢度做緊咩, 本人覺得連your都唔駛, 成個phrase好怪)

    6. worry --> worried (passive voice既用法, 要用past participle)

    7. aboslute --> absolutely (is後面要用adv.)

    8. differ --> different (differ係verb, different隻adj, 睇埋下面果個字就知係用different去形容係唔同既infections)

    9. ant --> any

    10. 加番blood喺transfusion前面

    11. 加to喺make前面

    12. of course後加番comma

    13. give up--> give

    14. helping --> help

    希望幫到你 (但其實內容好多都寫得好怪... sorry)

    資料來源: me
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  • 1 十年前

    i,ve come here today to encouraging you all to donate blood.

    **Use of infinitive: replace "encouraging" by "encourage"

    **duplicate meaning: "you" may represent "one person" or "many persons"

    **Consider this: I've come here today to encourage you to donate blood.

    donors can start,as long as they have parental consent,from the age of 16 and can given

    blood twice time a year.

    **Pronoun: add "their" after "have"

    **Form of verb: replace "given" by "give"

    **duplicate meaning: "twice" is equal to "two times"

    **Consider this: Donors can start, as long as they have their parental consent, from the age of 16 and can give blood twice a year.

    a few years ago,the citizens of hong kong were reluctant to donate before they had many misconceptions.

    **omission of object: add "blood" after "donate"

    **use of connective: replace "before" by "because"

    **Consider this: A few years ago, the citizens of Hong Kong were reluctant to donate blood because they had many misconceptions.

    but with the help of your educate young people,the situation is now quite encouraging

    **use of pronoun: replace "your" by "you"

    **a better expression: replace "the help of you" by "your help"

    **omission of preposition: add "to" before "educate"

    **tense: the improvement continues, therefore, use present perfect instead of present tense

    **Consider this: But with your help to educate young people, the situation has now been quite encouraging.

    of course,people are worry about various infection,but all our equipment

    **duplicate verb: replace "are" by "still"

    **plural: replace "infection" by "infections"

    **Consider this: Of course, people still worry about various infections. However, our equipment ...

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